Every married couple hopes they will live the happily ever after fairytale. The sad reality is that in Australia only around 50 percent of marriages will actually survive. Of those that do it is documented that many more of these couples report less than satisfactory relationships in the longer term.
Couples may ask, is it love or is it luck that makes a marriage work? The truth is that without good marriage preparation, marriage satisfaction can decline rapidly as a couple makes the transition from the romance of the wedding to married life. Just as you would start a business, buy a car or take an interview or exam with good preparation and research so too it makes perfect sense to prepare for your marriage beyond the wedding day. Pre marriage education has been shown to reduce the risk of divorce by up to 30 % and can add to the likelihood of a happier, stronger and more fulfilling marriage.
Most engaged couples believe they won’t be contributing to divorce statistics or that circumstances will never change the way they feel about each other. The fact is that good skill based pre marriage education may be a form of “immunizing” your marriage against the hard knocks and challenges life may bring. Just a little effort now can make your odds a whole lot better over the long run. And as a more immediate bonus pre marriage education may also reduce the stress of the pre wedding period.
Why wouldn’t you want to do everything you can to ensure that your dreams of a great marriage and life are realized?
GIVE EACH OTHER THE BEST WEDDING GIFT EVER!
It is important to note that healthy, enriching relationships do not “just happen”. They need two people who are happy being who they are and who trust and respect their partner. This takes both time and commitment to work together to build a loving and life-giving relationship.
Most couples spend a great deal of time and energy planning their wedding and too little time preparing for their marriage relationship in the longer term after the Big Day. The relationship stage prior to marriage tends to be an exciting and busy one for most couples. Unfortunately while many couples may be well prepared for their wedding day, they are largely unprepared for the eventualities of marriage. Unrealistic expectations and reservations about exploring potential problems often contributes to difficulties in the early years of marriage. Pre marriage education is based on the reality that it is vital to strengthen your relationship and prepare constructively for future challenges and conflicts which everyone will inevitably face at some point in their marriage. And more importantly in the pre wedding period since there is so much positive energy circulating in the relationship! Research shows that couples have an optimal opportunity “window” to benefit from pre marriage education 12 months prior to being wed and up to 6 months after since later on, stress, negative habits and relationship patterns make it more difficult to change or resolve issues.
When deciding whether pre marriage education is for you, consider also that many modern couples face more demands and fewer supports than in previous generations. A typical new marriage – managing 2 careers and rearing children – really requires that couples have a very strong foundation together in their relationship which includes well established abilities to communicate, resolve issues, maintain mutuality and set individual and couple goals. Without this preparation and skill a couple will easily fall into stress and time pressures during the honeymoon early years of their marriage.
Marriage preparation acts as a form of protection to boost your capacity to handle potential difficulties. Couples need every advantage to succeed in today’s marriages. With the help of a trained facilitator, couples can work on building skills to:
- Take stock of strength and growth areas that are present in their relationship
- Evaluate their levels of idealism
- Explore important topics they might otherwise avoid
- Begin to develop communication and conflict resolution skills
Topics covered may include:
- Marriage expectations
- Personality influences
- Communication
- Conflict Resolution
- Financial Management
- Leisure Activities
- Sexual Relationship/Expectations
- Children and Parenting
- Family and Friends
- Relationship Roles
- Spiritual Beliefs
- Family and Couple Closeness and Flexibility
Through this education, a couple should be able to realise key strengths both as individuals and as a couple but more importantly also the areas which need improving.
A QUESTION OF THE NEXT GENERATION
Pre marriage education to strengthen a couple’s relationship has far reaching effects than may be initially realised. Research shows us that happy fulfilled relationships are likely to produce happier, more emotionally, socially and intellectually well balanced children from these unions. This is clearly a double bonus – a stronger marriage relationship which influences the well being of their resulting children.
PRE MARRIAGE EDUCATION IS NOT COUNSELLING
Pre marriage education is essentially relationship insurance through education and increased awareness. To undertake a pre marriage education program is not a statement that there is anything wrong with a couple’s relationship. Quite the opposite, it is a powerful statement of the value that a couple gives to their relationship that they would do everything possible to enrich it.
It may be important to highlight this with your fiance when discussing the option of attending pre marriage education.
WHO MAY OFFER PRE MARRIAGE EDUCATION?
Pre marriage education may be offered by psychologists, religious advisors or couples counsellors and can be in the form of seminars, group or individual sessions.Nichola Webb is a Perth based Clinical Psychologist offering individually tailored pre marriage education packages for couples to suit all needs through Webb Perceptions.
For further information please visit www.webbperceptions.com.au